Children's sleep is a problem that most parents will encounter. Train children's sleeping habits and establish good sleep patterns, so as to give children and parents better rest. This is what most parents hope to achieve. Today's article can be seen as a preface to our discussion of sleep training.
Sleep training is important to sleep, not only for children, but also for mothers and all parents who need to take care of their children. Cultivating children with good sleep can allow adults to rest and improve sleep quality qualitatively so that they can devote more energy to work, life, and parenting during the day. The physical and mental exhaustion of parents is also not a manifestation of being responsible for their children.
Of course, being able to fall asleep quickly and well independently and sleep longer at night is also important for the development and growth of children. At the same time of night sleep, children who wake up 3-4 times in the middle are compared with those who only wake up once or even not wake up. It's not because the former doesn't need enough, longer sleep. It is that they do not have better sleep habits and lack of control over the body, which prevents them from taking more effective sleep and rest.
If you agree that longer and more regular sleep time is better for your child, you also care about the quality of your sleep. Then you may have downloaded and printed countless parenting master mothers’ experiences, but there may still be no way to solve the child’s sleep problem. Why on earth?
It just depends on whether you can persist.
Can't stick to the problem of baby sleep training? Analysis of the reasons is mainly as follows:
- Long pain vs short pain
Every parenting expert who is educating others to train sleep will definitely tell you with all your heart that long-term pain is worse than short-term pain. But they have forgotten one thing. Human beings are never sensible when they are in pain. Regardless of the long and short pains, the most important thing is to stop the pain first, so "drinking poison to quench thirst" is the most normal human reaction.
In sleep training, immediate pain is the most important reason why mothers can’t stick to it. Whether they can carry out successful sleep training is actually the mother’s grasp of their mental endurance.
- Mother's need for intimacy
Intimacy itself is a two-way relationship. Compared with most dads who are used to fend for themselves, mothers' intimacy needs for "self-body" will be N orders of magnitude higher. This is why fans of the intimate parenting method are basically mothers, while the fathers of straight men mostly say "haha". Because everyone is looking for those theories they like to believe.
Therefore, another important reason for problems with sleep training is that mothers themselves still have hope that they can sleep with milk and hug them to prove that their babies can't do without themselves, find that their babies are closest to themselves, and get inner satisfaction. If this kind of inner satisfaction is more important to the mother than the quality of sleep, or the ills of sleeping with milk, it will be difficult to train successfully. Instead of this, it is better to not train at all.
- Pressure from others
Among the other people here, 80% are grandmothers, 10% are from male residents with weak voices at home, and 10% are from neighbors. Many children's sleep training can not be carried out or have to be interrupted because of family members' incomprehension and unsupportiveness. The more people living together, the more serious the problem becomes. This one hurts family harmony too much, everyone knows it.
The significance of analyzing these reasons is that these are things you need to think about and prepare carefully before you start sleep training, and they are also the basis for the smooth completion of sleep training. If these things are not done or cannot be done, then blindly starting sleep training, the possibility of death or repetition will be far greater than success.
In order to avoid these possible reasons for failure, before starting, you should do this:
- First ask yourself if you think clearly, decide to do sleep training and if you have endured a certain degree of separation from your child. At the same time, it is necessary to anticipate that the child will have intense feedback, try to make the psychological construction more solid, and think of the crying more violently, if it is not so scary, it will be earned.
- Communicate with family members, explain to them why the children need sleep training, and get their consent, at least verbally. In this way, even if you don't get much help during training, it will reduce a lot of obstacles.
- In training, increase the participation of the father as much as possible, and even let the father become the main force of sleep training. Please don't say "My child's dad doesn't care about anything". In fact, most dads just need clear instructions and complete authorization. Many fathers can do their jobs better than mothers when they are given instructions to handle their children's sleep without interference.